I''ll admit I''m only 1/3 through Uncoupling, which I just opened last night, but after randomly turning on the 1996 movie Swingers with Vince Vaughn this afternoon, I''m compelled to help my fellow broken-hearted compadres by urging you to put down the self help books for a...
I''ll admit I''m only 1/3 through Uncoupling, which I just opened last night, but after randomly turning on the 1996 movie Swingers with Vince Vaughn this afternoon, I''m compelled to help my fellow broken-hearted compadres by urging you to put down the self help books for a minute and rent, download or stream this movie ASAP. More than any book, blog post, or brainwaves app, this movie will make you feel better IMMEDIATELY! You must commit to pushing through the pain so honestly depicted in the first 1/3-1/2 of the film as a prerequisite for the reward this story offers in the end. Before you even know what''s happening, you will be laughing, smiling and perhaps, like me, even feeling the first signs not of hope (which to me is still a victim mentality) but of honest-to-God eagerness and excitement in the face of the new possibilities that have become open to each of us against our wills. Whether you''ve seen the movie 50 times or have never heard of it, the effect of watching it during this time of intense emotional loss and pain makes the experience an original one.
AFTER you complete the above assignment, then I join the majority consensus in recommending this book as a refreshingly unemotional and analytical study of how the breakup process evolves. I am that unusual person who is burdened with an acutely empathetic and emotional nature in constant battle with my demand for reason and logic. As a result I don''t have the luxury of dealing with just one or the other, like most people. This book addresses the latter from a sociological perspective and is a great relief from the emotionally demanding yet useful books that address the pain you''re feeling and how to move beyond it.
Uncoupling has one objective: to analyze the "how," and it persuasively posits that irrespective of age, race, religion, gender, sexual preference, type or length of the relationship, the fundamental process is curiously uniform. With that knowledge, this decidedly dispassionate breakdown ultimately eased my pain in a way the other books could not by making it abundantly clear that I am not alone, my pain is not unique or worse or more intense than yours or his or hers or theirs, even though it feels like it is. I don''t think it''s that "misery loves company," because I don''t wish this torture even on the woman my husband moved in with. Instead, it''s about feeling a part of something again, after so many agonizing hours believing I am completely and forever alone with my heartache.
I know there will be some who take offense at my unorthodox "review," but those people actually enjoy wallowing in despair and giddily recruit others to join them. For the rest of you, I hope I can help lessen the pain, if even just a little bit or for only a moment. I''m right here with you, friends. If you want to talk, send me a message. But whatever you do, go watch that movie NOW!